My Final Word about ... (not really my Final Word!)

I said good-bye to what had been my life for the last 25 years, and before I left I wrote this encouragement to the moms still in our homeschool group. I don't think this will be my final word on this blog or this subject because now I'll have lots of time to write! But now, I'll try to figure out which subjects I'll want to write about for your entertainment.

If you have the opportunity, look this up on YouTube, and listen to it as you read the words:

Find Us Faithful

by Steve Green

We're pilgrims on the journey
Of the narrow road
And those who've gone before us line the way
Cheering on the faithful, encouraging the weary
Their lives a stirring testament to God's sustaining grace

Surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses
Let us run the race not only for the prize
But as those who've gone before us
Let us leave to those behind us
The heritage of faithfulness passed on through godly lives

Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey

Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

After all our hopes and dreams have come and gone
And our children sift through all we've left behind
May the clues that they discover and the memories they uncover
Become the light that leads them to the road we each must find

How can we be found faithful? 

1.       Do what is good! Micah 6:8 He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

2.       Be Just! Proverbs 21:15  

3.       Be Kind! Proverbs 3:3  

4.       Walk humbly with God. James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.

If we do these things for others, how much more should we do these for our children? I want to impress on you as I go, that academic excellence is NOTHING without godly character.  Make sure godly character is the priority in your home. Do whatever it takes to ensure that your children are seeing godly character modeled in your home, all day, every day. And that is my final word.

The Value of Menu Planning

One of the things I started doing during the early years is meal planning.  I know that you groan when you hear that, but let me tell you how simple it can be.

Instead of writing a grocery list, I typed a complete day worth of food into my computer, along with the groceries needed.

Meal Plan	Grocery List
Oatmeal, Ham sandwiches and fruit, chicken parmesan with green beans and a salad	Oatmeal, milk, raisins, pecans, brown sugar Bread, sliced ham, pickles, mayonnaise, mustard, lettuce, tomatoes Fruit on sale Chicken breasts, canned diced tomatoes, oregano, basil, parmesan cheese, green beans, spaghetti, lettuce, tomato, dressing, cucumber
Breakfast burritos, tuna salad sandwiches, crock pot roast and a salad	Tortillas, eggs, salsa Bread, tuna, mayonnaise, pickles, lettuce, carrots Pot roast, red potatoes, beef broth, browning sauce, cream of mushroom soup, yellow onion, carrots

I normally do this for 5 days.  The weekends were always crazy with church, birthday parties, athletics, and family fun.  We’d eat left overs one day and then go out the other day, so 5 days is enough.  And they were all in separate documents, with the title of the dinner as the name.

I also planned AT LEAST one crock pot meal for the days where the Little League game started at 4:00 PM, and we’d all come home starving at 6:00 PM.  With the Crockpot (or typically more than one) we were read to eat at home.  Also, I almost always had a soup day on Thursdays.  

Before we went to AWANA, I would serve soup and salad.  The original reason for doing this was because typically braces were adjusted on Wednesday, and someone always had a sore mouth.  And then I found that extra students might be at my table as we were carpooling from one event to another, and more people needed to eat.  The funny thing is that the last person in braces was out of them about 3 years ago and we haven’t attended AWANA in about 5 years, but now we host a young adult fellowship and some of these young adults come straight from class or straight from work, and soup is something that can keep them from stopping on the way from class or work, and they can concentrate on the Bible study.  Always good to throw soup on the dinner meal plan.

The other thing to note is that I did this on my computer.  No lists scratched on scrap paper.  I had a plan.  The beauty of this is that you can start small.  Do one week.  The next week, if you don’t have time to do another week, just print out last week’s meal plan.  Sometimes your family will never notice that you had spaghetti and meatballs two weeks in a row!  And sometimes they would really love that!  At the end of the month, you could have 20 days built up, and your meal planning is done for the rest of your life!  (Or until you make the next dietary change trying to cook healthier!)  Since I had them in their own document, I could print out and mix and match weeks.  In my current Menu Planning folder, I have 90 documents.  Probably 80 of them are meals from over the years.

I also did special meal plans.  We have celebrated a Passover Seder for many years (about 19).  At some point, and I don’t remember when, I put the whole ceremonial meal on my computer, shopping list, menu, etc.  I alternated hosting it with another family.  One year, she called me on Monday, and said that she didn’t think she pull it together to host it because of what was going on in their family.  It is held on the Thursday before Easter.  I got on my computer and found:

Passover Dinner
Pascal Lamb Thin slice 2 cloves garlic and place in slits in lamb 2" apart. Rub outside of lamb with seasoning salt and paprika (generously) Place in roaster fat side up and sear uncovered in 450 degree oven for 30 minutes Reduce heat to 325 degrees and bake uncovered Last hour of baking add 3 cans of butter beans with juice (Sea Side brand) Partial boil carrots in microwave 10-15 minutes, add to lamb without juice. Sprinkle seasoned salt and pepper on vegetables to taste Cover and let bake remaining hour Cook instructions: 3-4 pounds -> 3-3 ½ hours @ 325 degress Potato Pancakes Salad of Mixed Greens	Seder Plate Charoset: 6-8 apples peeled and chopped finely, 1 cup pecans chopped finely, add honey and cinnamon to taste, ½ cup grape juice Roasted Eggs - hard boil with tea bags Parsley Horseradish Grape Juice Matzah Matzah Ball Soup Unleavened Cake
Shopping list
Lamb garlic seasoned salt paprika butter beans (Sea Side brand) 2 bags of carrots pepper Potato Pancake mix Bag of Salad Eggs Grape Juice Matzah Parsley Horseradish Matzah Ball Soup Unleavened Cake Mix	8 apples pecans honey cinnamon strawberries on top of cake

I could actually print out my list on Monday, run to the store on Tuesday, start cooking on Wednesday, and be ready to host on Thursday!

I also have menu plans set up like this, with recipes, and a shopping list all on one page for:  Thanksgiving, Easter, and Christmas.

And I figured out a timeline for timing and put it in a document for Thanksgiving like this:

To do Thanksgiving Day:

8:00

Walk

9:00

Shower

10:00

Pumpkin Soup in Crockpot

Hard boil eggs

Set table

11:00

Make toppings for the casseroles

Make Stuffing

Make Green Bean Casserole

Make Spinach/Artichoke Casserole

Make Green salad

Arrange cranberry sauce

11:30

Prepare Turkeys for oven

Make deviled eggs

12:00

Put 1st Turkey in the oven

Put bread in bread maker

1:00

Put 2nd Turkey in the oven

2:00

Cook dinner rolls

Set up drink station

2:30

Make Corn bread

3:00

Put in oven:

Macaroni and Cheese Casserole

Take casseroles out of refrigerator, put on toppings

Make appetizer plate

3:30

Pull out Turkeys

Put in oven: Carrot Casserole

Sweet Potato Casserole

Green bean Casserole

Spinach/Artichoke Casserole

Start coffee pot

3:45

Put out drinks:

½ and ½

ice cubes

4:00

Put topping on Green Bean Casserole

Put stuffing in oven

Put out butter

4:30

Carve Turkeys

Set out at 4:55

Turkey

Stuffing

Cranberry Sauce

Green Salad

Spinach/Artichoke casserole

Carrot/cheese casserole

Sweet potato casserole

Macaroni/cheese casserole

Green bean casserole

Jell-o Salad

Dinner rolls

Light candles

That was for a 5:00 PM Thanksgiving.  I just change the timing if we’re eating at 2:00 PM! And I found it very useful to be able to cross things off as I put them on the table at 4:55. Gone are the days of finding that jell-0 salad as you are putting left overs away!

I also have a meal plan for something like a week in the mountains, where you’d rather be playing in the snow than cooking.  A meal plan like that includes frozen lasagnas and corn dogs, so don’t use it all of the time.

Anyway, we have the technology, we should use it!  There are many apps out there.  Find one that works for you.  Since I started on my computer, I haven’t really altered anything because to get into one routine that works for you is good enough.  And, what’s that saying?  “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!”

Now, some points on grocery shopping:  I have a very vivid memory of being in Costco in 1997.  Andrew was in the sling, with the carseat on a flatbed cart, Philip was sitting “criss cross applesauce” on the flatbed cart, Stephen was tethered to the cart with a leash (for those that knew him in the wandering days, this will make perfect sense), Priscilla had my list, crossing things off as we procured them, David took things off the shelves as we needed them, and I was pushing the flatbed cart.  Half way through we ran out of space on the cart, (mostly because Philip had stretched out and fallen asleep, and Stephen had joined him, much to my relief) and I needed to figure out how to get my shopping done.  10 year old David ran and got another cart and two hours later, we got out the door and then I got the opportunity to break things into smaller packages and put everything away, which took another 2 hours between emptying the car, nursing Andrew, getting the toddler and preschooler settled and finding places for all the things we had purchased.  That was my last time in Costco for regular shopping.  That was my last time shopping while all 5 of them were home.  I would only make an occasional trip when we were having a major party (and I needed 200 chicken wings) and I cut my Costco trips to one or two a year.  Seriously.

At the time, there was a new online store called HomeGrocers.com.  I decided to give them a try.  At first it was painful because they charged $10 to deliver.  The first time I used them, and paid my $10, I realized that it was REALLY worth the $10.  Over the course of the month I cut $200 off my grocery budget.  Imagine this:  you’re walking past the butter in the grocery store.  You think, “Do I need butter?  I don’t know.  Well, I’m here now, and I don’t know when I’m going to load all of these kids up again, so I better buy it.”  Sound familiar?  Now this is how the scenario goes on online shopping:  “Oh, there’s the butter that I ordered from my last order.  Do I need butter?  I should get up and go to the refrigerator and look.”  You can see how you save money from that one little scenario.  Never mind 5 kids in the cereal aisle.  HomeGrocers.com went out of business in about 2001.  It was a great concept, a wonderful website, but they didn’t know how to be a grocery store.  Since then, I have suffered through good grocery stores that have subpar websites.  Hey, I’m not complaining.  Never again did I walk into Costco with 5 little kids.  Over the time I have used:  whyrunout.com (run by Stater Bros.), Albertons.com, and Vons.com.  Don just cut out an article this summer (2013) of the following websites:  WeGoShop.com, shop.safeway.com, WinderFarms.com, Spud.com, USGrocer.com, ShopFoodEx.com, AmazonFresh.com

As we have grown into a smaller family, and have learned more about nutrition, I still shop online, but I’m more inclined to run to the store for specialty organic items.  Plus, the grocery store isn’t bad when you only have one.  But, there is nothing like having your doorbell ring, and having a man carry your groceries into your kitchen.  It went from a four hour ordeal to a 30 minute ordeal.

And for those that ask, “How do you know if they’ll bring good produce?”  First of all, I’m not an expert, so someone else knocking on a watermelon is probably just as good as me knocking on a watermelon.  However, they want to keep their customers, so I have only had one experience with an old fruit platter.  And when I emailed them about it, they called right away and brought another one out.  For the other 16 years, the produce is better than I would have ever picked myself.

Meal planning is always cheaper, always healthier, and always a good way to get your family to sit down at the dinner table.  I would encourage you to try it.

Reflux in a Newborn - Nursing Mom's Diet

It has been wonderful spending the last two weeks with my grandson, and of course, daughter and son-in-law!  Priscilla has been a fabulous mother to her newborn.  She has been patient, loving and very attentive to little Kekoa's needs.

I have had the privilege of making her lunch and dinner most days.  Primarily, I was concerned that she was getting enough protein and dairy.  I didn't worry too much about food allergies, as she has none, and is not a picky eater.  She has even asked for some of the things I used to make at home that were her favorites.  You know, good, old-fashioned comfort food!  (If you call cauliflower, cream cheese and butter, comfort food!)  The amazing thing is that at two weeks, she is already into her regular wardrobe!

Last Wednesday, Thursday and Friday (Kekoa was 2 weeks on Thursday), in the evening, he'd throw his back into an arch and start crying.  I haven't been there for the episodes, but it is always after Priscilla's bed time, and they feel badly for the little baby.

I never had a colicky baby, nor a baby that fussed with reflux, though looking back, my poor David probably had reflux.  Most people only remember his baby days by his projectile "spit ups"!  He never fussed, and he gained weight, so I never changed anything.

After doing some research (going to my pediatrician's website) I found a list of foods that can be considered to cause reflux in newborns, and should be eliminated until they are proven to be safe.

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/fussy-baby/coping-colic/colic-causing-foods-breastfeeding

Priscilla, in her research found the same list:


Banned foods:
Dairy Products
Caffeine
Soy
Peanuts
Shell Fish
Chocolate
Citrus Fruits
Wheat
Chicken
Beef
Nuts
Eggs
Corn
Pre-natal vitamins (iron)
Broccoli
Cauliflower
Cabbage
Onions
Green Peppers
Tomatoes

For a new mom, who is already short on sleep, the list was overwhelming.  I suggested that she eat oatmeal for one day and that I'd sift through the information and come prepared with a clean diet for her on Monday.

Baby didn't fuss on Saturday or Sunday.

Monday (today) she ate Ezekiel cereal with rice milk for breakfast.  I served her Ezekiel bread with roast beef and Promise margarine, coconut milk, and peaches.  For an afternoon snack, I served her gluten-free crackers with hummus.  For dinner, I made chicken thighs, cooked in the crock pot with chicken broth, served over gluten-free penne pasta, tossed with olive oil and parsley and green beans, and a salad with olive oil and vinegar dressing, more coconut milk, that she flavored with a blop of vanilla and a shake of cinnamon.  I left a dairy-free, gluten-free, pre-prepared rice pudding for dessert for her.

She left a message tonight that the baby was fussy again tonight.

Could it be the Ezekiel bread?

We wanted to challenge the soy tomorrow and see what the baby could tolerate.  Since he is fussy tonight, it looks like we can't move on.


I would like a little help from my friends.  If you have experienced these issues, if you could post a menu for breakfast, lunch, dinner and two snacks, Priscilla and I would really appreciate it.  I would like to solve this problem before I leave here on Monday.  I want to leave her equipped to deal with a baby with an immature digestive system. :)  And since this won't be my only grandchild, I feel like I'm laying groundwork for any future grandchildren that might have a problem.  :)

Grandma Status

Although I have been up for about 20 hours, after pulling off a red eye the day before, I am still too excited to sleep, so I thought I'd post some pictures of my last day.  I know that Priscilla's friends won't be able to see this from my facebook wall, so I'll have to email her the pictures when we have better internet access, or she has more time, whichever comes first.

I arrived in Virginia on Wednesday morning, June 20th and arrived to Priscilla and Josh's apartment around 7:30 am.  Red-eyes are brutal.  After seeing what good condition she was in, emptying my carry-on of all the things I found corners for, and finding out that I could check into my hotel room at noon, I went to my hotel room, took a shower and a 90 minute nap and then returned to Priscilla's to take her to her midwife appointment.  Here is a picture of her as we left for the midwife's office:

The midwife was concerned that Priscilla wasn't measuring bigger, and told her to schedule an ultra sound for Friday or Monday.  Priscilla left, not too concerned, and telling me that she'd schedule it for Monday, hoping it wouldn't be an issue by then, since she was due on Sunday.  We stopped at Target to pick up some items, and then met Josh for dinner.  After dinner, even though I was tired (more like exhausted), I wanted to take a picture I thought the boys would like:

And then a couple of pregnancy pictures:

I had intended to come back to the hotel and upload them, but I got back to the hotel and was asleep by 9:00 PM.

I woke up at 4:00 am, and thought "Oh, good, I have a few more hours," and decided to see if I could easily go back to sleep.  I did.  I awoke to the phone ringing at 4:30 am.  Priscilla asked how I felt about getting another short night of sleep, and if I'd come on over.  She'd been having contractions since midnight and they were going to call the midwife.  She sounded very cheerful and excited, so I got dressed, packed my backpack for a long stay, and left.  I arrived at her place around 5:00 am.  She was happily working her way through contractions.  One of the things that we had purchased the night before was nail polish, because her toe nails were bugging her and she couldn't reach them, so around 5:30 am, in between contractions, I painted her toe nails.

Finally, she had a contraction that made her involuntarily cry.  Two more and she said she was ready to go to the hospital.  This is the picture I took before they walked out the door.  Note, she was still smiling!  And I believe the clock said "6:50am"!

We took separate cars to the hospital.  I could see Josh reaching into the back seat every couple of minutes.  It took about 50 minutes to get to the hospital.  The receptionist looked at Priscilla and asked her what she was there for.  Priscilla said, "I'm in labor."  The receptionist took off for about three minutes.  When she returned she asked Priscilla if she really was in labor, and told her to take a seat.  Time about 8:00 am.  Finally, the receptionist came back.  Priscilla told me to hang tight and as soon as they got settled in a room, she'd have Josh come get me.  Josh called me about 45 minutes later and said that the baby had been born.  Huh?  I told the receptionist that Josh was coming to get me and that the baby was already born, and she said, "What?  She didn't even look like she was in labor!"

This was the scene that I walked into and I instantly burst into tears.  It was so lovely:

Priscilla can tell you the story from her vantage point, but probably not this month!  Let's just say that she is very good at this labor and delivery stuff!

And that is the story of my last 24 hours!  Good night!

The Guilt of Motherhood, an open letter to Priscilla

Dear Priscilla,

You are about to enter the most guilt-ridden profession: motherhood. From the minute you decided to use a mid-wife or a doctor, there will be someone questioning your decisions. And then you move into breast feed or bottle feed. No matter what you choose there will be nay-sayers.

And don’t get me started on co-sleeping versus a crib.

Career versus stay at home mom?  Wasting your education?

But none of the condemnation you receive will be like the judgment of homeschooling! And that’s only from the people who don’t believe in homeschooling. Within homeschooling there is all the guilt of whether or not you picked the right curriculum, courses, outside activities. And then homeschooling high school!

There are a couple of guidelines I’d like to suggest to you to get through this!

1.  Listen to the Lord. Although there isn’t a book written on how to raise Kekoa (or any subsequent children you may have), God will be there to direct your path.

2.  Consult with your husband. Sometimes it might seem that they don’t care about how you cope, but ask what is important to him. Is it dinner on the table on time? Is it a clean house? Is it a quiet house?

3.  Do what works best for you. There will be a lot of people willing to offer you advice (and I will be one of them! J). But their families are different than your family. Take what you need and throw the rest out. Being a hybrid of many different parenting styles and techniques isn’t a bad thing. In fact, the “bigger the piece of marble, the bigger the sculpture can be.” And, of course, none of your children will have the same personality or needs, so what works for one, probably won’t work for the other and you’ll have heard lots of ideas to give you something else to try.

4.  Be flexible. What works in the beginning weeks, might not work at 6 months. Allow yourself to be changed.

5.  Get plenty of rest. You think this is an easy thing. It is not! Here I am in year 25 of my parenting, and I’m finally getting to the point where I can actually get to bed on time and wake up early happily. (You'll notice the emphasis on "happily", waking up early is a given!)  Maybe the toilets don’t get cleaned because you took a nap while the baby was sleeping. That’s okay. They can get cleaned tomorrow, unless by some chance magic fairies show up!

Some days the guilt might be stifling. You have a bad day, you kicked the dog, dinner burnt, and for some reason the baby has been crying all day, and you can't figure out why. And then you find out that the baby has an ear infection, the sweet little girl can't see well enough to read the songs on the board, and even though you’ve been through phonics 4 times with the child, he still can’t read, and you’re really swamped with guilt.

I could be my usual self and tell you to get over it, it comes with the territory. But the nice response would be to put on some worship music, get into the Word, hold the baby, and the guilt will pass until the next issue arises. I’d like to tell you that the guilt stops after parenting for 25 years, but so far it hasn’t!  Save the guilt for conviction of sin, NOT because you don't do everything perfectly.  If you feed the baby, change his diapers, and keep the Department of Health away, you're doing fine.

Love you,

Mom

P.S.  Anytime you want advice, feel free to ask. J

Kamakawiwoole Wedding Portraits

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Stout Family Adventures May 3 to June 3 2010

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Boys will be Boys

Teaching High School Biology has been quite the experience as a homeschool mom. This is my second time teaching High School level Biology, as I taught the first two together. Well, as we started the Kingdom Animalia, I ordered my daphnia, and my adult brine shrimp to watch what they do. I also ordered Hydra for observation. We grew brine shrimp, (what we used to call "sea monkeys") which were very small. So, we look at the Phylum Cnidaria, and observed the different reactions to different stimuli, we also fed them the baby brine shrimp.

Okay, Biology class is over and I have these blue stained hydra, 1/2 a cup of daphnia and 1/2 a cup of adult brine shrimp, along with the baby brine shrimp that we grew. Now what do we do? I decide to buy 3 goldfish, when I make a cricket run for the toad, (that the boys caught in a local stream THREE years ago.) My plan is that the goldfish will eat the remaining daphnia and brine shrimp.

I get home and realize that the aquarium has the toad in it, so I pull out an old, big, glass, flower vase and I fill it with distilled water, lay the bag of fish in it, so that they can get used to the temperature of the water. After about 10 minutes the boys and I let the fish out of the bag and the boys each take a dropper full of daphnia and adult brine shrimp and put it in the fish "bowl" (vase). The fish LOVE the daphnia and brine shrimp and gobbled them down.

Well, the daphnia and brine shrimp lasted about 4 days. Then we had to give them regular old fish food. I did change them out of the dirty water, but, as is typical of feeder goldfish, at one week they died.

The boys assessed the situation and decided that they should do as the Indians taught the Pilgrims. They dug holes around the fruit trees in our backyard, and unceremoniously dumped the fish into the holes.

Boys will be boys!