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Showing posts with label babies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label babies. Show all posts

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Answering the Questions about Schooling When You Have Toddlers and Infants


One of the biggest questions I get from young families as the new school year starts is, “What do I do with my little ones?”  Well, I only had five, which may not seem like a lot to some of you, but it felt like plenty to me.  For 12 years I taught older students (Basically all of my eldest ‘s school years) while I had at least one preschooler.  For many years I had an infant and a preschooler, while homeschooling.  The funny thing is that I started that way (David was in Kindergarten when Priscilla was 2 and ½ and Stephen was an infant), so I didn’t realize that it could be any other way.

Let me give you my overall philosophy.  Your little guys are going to take your time, no matter what you do, so you might as well give them your time up front.  Plan for it.  Schedule for it.  Make it a part of the routine.  It will be a lot less frustrating.

I had lots of ways of coping.  Some years required different tools.  I’ll list some of the different things I did to accomplish the formal part of education.  If I think of other things that I did (the things that didn’t work for me, I blocked out!) I’ll edit this post.

1.       Divided up the toys – I had 5 Rubber Maid containers, and I divided the toys into Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.  The Legos were left out all week, along with the Thomas the Tank train track (along with pictures of previously made tracks to be copied), and the dress up box.  We’d only open one container each day.  Then, at the end of the day, we put the toys back in the same container and they wouldn’t see them until the next week.  Yes, I had enough toys to fill more than 5 Rubber Maid containers!

2.      Flip school hours -  One year our routine looked like this:  breakfast, dishes, throw laundry in, do Bible, head to the park with the math books and a timer.  Let the kids play for 15 minutes, when the timer went off, David was designated to run over and do a page of math.  I chose math for him because he had great understanding and there were no needs for additional tools.  When he was done, he’d run back and play and Priscilla would run over and do a page of grammar.  I’d try to do 2 subjects with each of them.  Finally, we’d head back home, ready for lunch and naps.  I’d feed everybody lunch, throw the clothes in the dryer, and then do some read aloud history (we used Beautiful Feet http://bfbooks.com/ and did literature based history).  Now the little guys were ready for naps.  Then, I’d finish the subjects with David and Priscilla before the little guys woke up.

3.      Do a subject that can cover multiple grade levels -   For me this meant Bible and History.  Some of my most precious memories of homeschooling my kids is nursing a baby, a toddler sitting on big brother’s lap sitting next to me, the other little brother sitting next to me, with the girl curled up like a cat on the back of the sofa, looking over my shoulder.  We did a lot of read out loud books.  And with Beautiful Feet, they also had recommendations for tapes (before the CD era), so we’d all sit there together and listen.  This was a good segue to nap time also.  After the little guys were down, I’d work on the writing and research with the older ones.

4.      When you have many that need to be schooled intensely, use a timer! -  I would set my timer for 15 minutes, and I would play with the little guys.  Maybe we’d build a train track.  Start a puzzle.  Line up all of the trucks.  Read a picture book.  By the time the 15 minutes were over, my goal would be to have them involved in an activity that they could complete/play on their own.  When the timer went off, they understood that that was the signal for me to work with the older kids.  I’d set the timer for 45 minutes with the older kids.  When the timer went off, I might have more than one little one at my side, knowing it was their 15 minute time segment.  If I was intensely teaching something, like writing or research, I’d ask David and Priscilla to take a turn and play with their siblings for a 45 minute stretch, while I worked with the other.  David almost always took them outside, and Priscilla almost always read books to them.

Again, the little guys need and deserve your time.  You might as well just give it to them up front!  

Sunday, June 3, 2012

The Guilt of Motherhood, an open letter to Priscilla


Dear Priscilla,

You are about to enter the most guilt-ridden profession: motherhood. From the minute you decided to use a mid-wife or a doctor, there will be someone questioning your decisions. And then you move into breast feed or bottle feed. No matter what you choose there will be nay-sayers.

And don’t get me started on co-sleeping versus a crib.

Career versus stay at home mom?  Wasting your education?

But none of the condemnation you receive will be like the judgment of homeschooling! And that’s only from the people who don’t believe in homeschooling. Within homeschooling there is all the guilt of whether or not you picked the right curriculum, courses, outside activities. And then homeschooling high school!

There are a couple of guidelines I’d like to suggest to you to get through this!

1.  Listen to the Lord. Although there isn’t a book written on how to raise Kekoa (or any subsequent children you may have), God will be there to direct your path.

2.  Consult with your husband. Sometimes it might seem that they don’t care about how you cope, but ask what is important to him. Is it dinner on the table on time? Is it a clean house? Is it a quiet house?

3.  Do what works best for you. There will be a lot of people willing to offer you advice (and I will be one of them! J). But their families are different than your family. Take what you need and throw the rest out. Being a hybrid of many different parenting styles and techniques isn’t a bad thing. In fact, the “bigger the piece of marble, the bigger the sculpture can be.” And, of course, none of your children will have the same personality or needs, so what works for one, probably won’t work for the other and you’ll have heard lots of ideas to give you something else to try.

4.  Be flexible. What works in the beginning weeks, might not work at 6 months. Allow yourself to be changed.

5.  Get plenty of rest. You think this is an easy thing. It is not! Here I am in year 25 of my parenting, and I’m finally getting to the point where I can actually get to bed on time and wake up early happily. (You'll notice the emphasis on "happily", waking up early is a given!)  Maybe the toilets don’t get cleaned because you took a nap while the baby was sleeping. That’s okay. They can get cleaned tomorrow, unless by some chance magic fairies show up!

Some days the guilt might be stifling. You have a bad day, you kicked the dog, dinner burnt, and for some reason the baby has been crying all day, and you can't figure out why. And then you find out that the baby has an ear infection, the sweet little girl can't see well enough to read the songs on the board, and even though you’ve been through phonics 4 times with the child, he still can’t read, and you’re really swamped with guilt.

I could be my usual self and tell you to get over it, it comes with the territory. But the nice response would be to put on some worship music, get into the Word, hold the baby, and the guilt will pass until the next issue arises. I’d like to tell you that the guilt stops after parenting for 25 years, but so far it hasn’t!  Save the guilt for conviction of sin, NOT because you don't do everything perfectly.  If you feed the baby, change his diapers, and keep the Department of Health away, you're doing fine.

Love you,

Mom

P.S.  Anytime you want advice, feel free to ask. J