Homeschooling the Late Bloomer

 

When I first started homeschooling I used BJUP Kindergarten. When it asked me if I wanted to plan for a 3 hour kindergarten or a 6 hour kindergarten, I chose the 3 hour, because I did have a toddler and a baby on the way. I am not a trained teacher, so I loved the Teacher’s Manual that told me what crafts to prepare for, what songs to sing, and how high to jump. I did EVERY activity it suggested, and with my kinesthetic first born, we were done with everything in about half an hour. My first born soaked it up, and by the end of Kindergarten he was reading proficiently.

When I started with the second one, I started to learn about learning styles, and she was a visual learner. She didn’t want to do all the activities, she just wanted to move on to the next lesson. She was reading the Bible by Christmas, as a 5 year old.

Number 3 was pretty much the same story. A visual learner, who wanted to teach himself. Again, by the end of Kindergarten he was reading proficiently.

I would hear mothers from the public school saying, “My child can’t read, so they are holding them back in Kindergarten.” I would think, smugly, “Well, if only you taught your children phonics, and not sight words, they would learn!”

And, then I had number 4. By the time he was school age, I had a 6^th grader, a 4^th grader, a 2^nd grader, and a toddler. He was my loudest child (I was always reminding him to use his inside voice) and he was my “drama king”. Not only would he cry for himself, but he’d cry for others if he sensed they were hurting. I started the tried and true Kindergarten curriculum at the age of 5 and a half. He didn’t get it at all! He just wasn’t ready. His times outside with his older siblings were his favorite, and he was super observant in all that they did. He formed his letters on a cookie sheet in either salt, sand or shaving cream. He climbed trees, had lots of PE and got to explore his outside world. (Such a blessing we are in California and our kids have opportunities to be outside a LOT!)

We finished the Kindergarten curriculum and he wasn’t reading anything. I wondered if I should start the First grade curriculum, but I didn’t want to repeat the Kindergarten curriculum as he was coming close to 7, so I went ahead and did the first grade curriculum.  I read everything to him. I would have him dictate sentences to me, I’d write them on the white board, and have him copy them. But he had no idea what he was copying.

At the end of first grade, when he still wasn’t reading, I was full of self-doubt. Was he dyslexic? Did he need a specialist? Was I not equipped to handle whatever his “learning disability” was? Should I seek professional help? I spoke to another veteran homeschool mom who told me not to worry about it and to just keep on reading out loud to him.

Second grade was a repeat of what happened in first grade, except that the self-doubt was stronger. Fortunately, reading every single lesson to a second grader still only takes about an hour, so I’d school the others in the morning, and then after lunch my second grader would get my undivided attention.

Now we are at third grade. I’m frankly starting to panic. I take him to get his eyes checked and to have some tests done to make sure he didn’t have some weird vision things going on. And now I’m noticing that when I read out loud to him, he can seem to be distracted with Legos or lining up Match Box cars, but as I notice the tears rolling down his face when Charlotte of Charlotte’s Web dies, I know he has been paying attention the whole time. I also notice that he also likes to be cuddled right next to me while he is doing Math problems.

I’m praying about what other kind of help I can get him to start fourth grade. As the summer is nearing the end, and I’m doing lesson planning, I hear him reading Hop On Pop to his younger brother. Every week through the curriculum, he is making great strides. Now he is reading instructions on his own. Now he is reading picture books with a plot. Next he is reading chapter books. By the end of fourth grade, he is reading the Bible with proficiency and understanding. He had TOTALLY caught up in reading in one school year.

And that was just about the time fractions were introduced in the Math book. And that became a struggle. The others were all ready for Algebra 1 in 7^th or 8^th grade. He wasn’t ready for Algebra 1 until 10^th grade. He and I worked to find a curriculum that worked for him. He attended a CHEA convention with me and he picked Math U See. I figured he needed skin in the game. (I had BJU, Chalkdust, and Teaching Textbooks at home, but those didn’t suit him!)

He decided that he wanted to go to a four year University, so we worked to that goal. I was a little concerned about him only finishing Algebra 2 in high school, but when he took the Math placement test during College Orientation, he placed into Calculus 1.

But these are things we learned about him along the way. He is a kinesthetic learner, with auditory learning as his second learning style. His love language is physical touch. When he went to college he knew he needed to not miss any classes so he could listen to each lecture. And that he needed to play hard. So, he took a PE class every semester and he played Ultimate Frisbee every Sunday night.

And that late bloomer now? He is a 20 something year old, sought-after, software engineer, who is leading worship at his church, and  loving his little family.

With time, patience, and lots of learning activities, your child can be "caught up".  If your child is read to, and you have a math book, you can likely catch your student up when they are ready and they can exceed their grade level. Mine just wasn't ready at the ages of 5, 6, 7, or 8!

Discipleship for the Long Haul

When our children were little, Don and I listened to some pretty wise parents about how they disciplined or discipled their children.  They were all different, but they all had a recurring theme:  they were consistent, they followed the same process each time the children were disciplined, and they sought full relationship restoration. This resonated with me, because I prefer organization and consistency. If I could do organized spankings for willful disobedience, I would be able to break a chain of weird, disorganized beatings that you never knew were coming.  Since Don was in law school, I took it upon myself to write up a 10 step process when David entered the willful disobedience years and we posted it in our bathroom.  Some of the steps would include making the child understand what they did wrong, acknowledging that they needed to be corrected, praying to God and asking for forgiveness and finally seeking full reconciliation with us.  We figured we were trying to model what God wants of his children, so every swat on the behind ended with hugs and kisses.  When they introduced 1 John 1:9 in AWANA, David announced, “Hey, that’s our spanking verse!” That piece of paper hung in our bathroom in 4 homes until we ended that phase of discipline with our 5 children.

Why do we discipline our children?  For the ultimate goal.  2 Timothy 1:2-14  is all about parenting towards the ultimate goal.  I know it was Paul who wrote it to Timothy, but as you read it, think about how you relate to your children. See how Paul shows his affection to Timothy, how he encourages Timothy, how he confirms his growth, and finally, how he directs him. 

2 Timothy 1:2 – 14 says:

To Timothy, my beloved son: Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord.  I thank God, whom I serve with a clear conscience the way my forefathers did, as I constantly remember you in my prayers night and day,  longing to see you, even as I recall your tears, so that I may be filled with joy. For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well. For this reason I remind you to kindle afresh the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline. Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord or of me His prisoner, but join with me in suffering for the gospel according to the power of God,  who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was granted us in Christ Jesus from all eternity, but now has been revealed by the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus, who abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel, for which I was appointed a preacher and an apostle and a teacher. For this reason I also suffer these things, but I am not ashamed; for I know whom I have believed and I am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day. Retain the standard of sound words which you have heard from me, in the faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. Guard, through the Holy Spirit who dwells in us, the treasure which has been entrusted to you.

After the spanking phase of parenting, in the early elementary years, we still had the same goals:  1. making the child understand what they did wrong; 2. acknowledging that they needed to be corrected; 3. praying to God and asking for forgiveness; 4.finally seeking full restoration of fellowship with us.  It just became trickier as they grew older and became more sophisticated in their sin. What is even worse, is that we are sinner parents, and it was easy to get caught up in the spiritual warfare.  Junior High years were real tough ones and we determined that satan didn’t want us raising godly, young men and women, who would someday lead their own families to honor God. I ended up spending a lot of time on my knees and it was a relief when I saw each one of them grab onto their own faith and hold onto it.  They had all independently prayed to receive Christ as their Savior at the ages of 3, 4 and 5 – Priscilla being the youngest and Philip being the oldest, but it was at the ages of 13, 14 and 15 where they finally established their own quiet times, and cemented their own relationship ships with God.  David was the earliest and Priscilla was the latest.

We launch Andrew, number 5, to college in the fall. Our goal for him is that when he gets to LMU in the fall he will be like Timothy and be ready to apply 2 Timothy 1:13 – 14 and Retain the standard of sound words which you have heard from me, in the faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. Guard, through the Holy Spirit who dwells in us, the treasure which has been entrusted to you.

But, as I have now spent almost 30 years of parenting and going through this discipline process of waiting for changed hearts, I search my own heart and I know that God feels the same way:  Marie, just acknowledge your sin, ask for forgiveness and be reconciled to me!  

As I close, I just want to encourage you in the fact that we are all sinners: as parents, as children, as a church, as a school.  I’m surprised we get anything done at all! Pray for your children, pray for your spouse, and pray for your children as they learn to get fully right with God.

My Final Word about ... (not really my Final Word!)

I said good-bye to what had been my life for the last 25 years, and before I left I wrote this encouragement to the moms still in our homeschool group. I don't think this will be my final word on this blog or this subject because now I'll have lots of time to write! But now, I'll try to figure out which subjects I'll want to write about for your entertainment.

If you have the opportunity, look this up on YouTube, and listen to it as you read the words:

Find Us Faithful

by Steve Green

We're pilgrims on the journey
Of the narrow road
And those who've gone before us line the way
Cheering on the faithful, encouraging the weary
Their lives a stirring testament to God's sustaining grace

Surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses
Let us run the race not only for the prize
But as those who've gone before us
Let us leave to those behind us
The heritage of faithfulness passed on through godly lives

Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey

Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

After all our hopes and dreams have come and gone
And our children sift through all we've left behind
May the clues that they discover and the memories they uncover
Become the light that leads them to the road we each must find

How can we be found faithful? 

1.       Do what is good! Micah 6:8 He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

2.       Be Just! Proverbs 21:15  

3.       Be Kind! Proverbs 3:3  

4.       Walk humbly with God. James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.

If we do these things for others, how much more should we do these for our children? I want to impress on you as I go, that academic excellence is NOTHING without godly character.  Make sure godly character is the priority in your home. Do whatever it takes to ensure that your children are seeing godly character modeled in your home, all day, every day. And that is my final word.

What I Wish I Knew in 1991

In September of 1991, my Kindergartner and I watched through the front window as the school bus pulled up in front of our house to pick up the neighborhood kids.  In the crowd were two of his buddies that he had spent long summer days with, playing in the sand and riding bikes along the sidewalk in between our houses.  Both of those little guys were in tears as they kissed their moms and bravely got on the bus.  My David looked at me wide eyed and asked, “Where are they going?” I answered, “They’re going to school.”  “What do they do in school?” David asked.  “They learn to read and do math. Do you want to learn to read and do math? I want to teach you to read and do math here at home.  Are  you ready for that?” “Yes, mommy, I want to learn to read and do math and not get on that school bus,” David stated.  I got on the phone (this is before the World Wide Web) and ordered the Kindergarten curriculum from the post card I picked up at one of the first CHEA conventions.  I only had 3 options, and this was the one Don thought I should use. And through the years, we learned a lot more than just reading and math.

In 1991 I wish I knew that responsibility needs to be taught, not just talked about. I remember sitting in my kitchen, with my little lefty asking me, “How do I tie my shoes?” It was one of those major moments where I realized that since I wasn’t going to send him to school, I was going to have to teach him EVERYTHING! And it wasn’t limited to tying shoes.  I had to teach him how to tell time!  Is that in the curriculum? What about sorting laundry? Is there a curriculum for that?

In 1991 I wish I knew that comparing ourselves to others was a fruitless endeavor. David was a kinesthetic learner who needed to rub his antlers against my chairs in order to learn the “e” sound in “elk”, whereas the little girl in his Sunday School class could easily learn the phonics sounds by reading them.

In 1991 I wish I knew right away what it meant to be “set apart”. We were homeschooling.  We were set apart alright.  Set apart from the neighbors, set apart from the people at church, set apart from our family. I wish I had had a more gracious answer as to why we were homeschooling  in those days.

In 1991 I wish I had known that God was going to give me 4 of 5 Science minded students – no, wait! Scratch that!  I’m glad I didn’t know! I might not have persevered.

In 1991 I wish I had known to relish the journey and that it would be a lot of fun. Some days the laundry was piled high, the dishes were still out from the night before and there were toys all over the place.  But, there were little ones who wanted stories and songs and projects and hugs and kisses.  You know what?  The laundry is still piled high, and the dishes are still out from the night before, but there are no little children to distract us from the mundane duties.  Nope, instead of reading bedtime stories, we do the dishes.

In 1991 I wish I had known that we were establishing lifetime patterns in our children.  We learned that discipleship is forever, and I can only hope and pray that those lifetime patterns we established in our children will be furthering the kingdom of God and that even our grandchildren will be beneficiaries.

My View of January

Ecclesiastes 1: 1- 12 

The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem.  “Vanity of vanities,” says the Preacher, “Vanity of vanities! All is vanity.” What advantage does man have in all his work which he does under the sun? A generation goes and a generation comes, but the earth remains forever. Also, the sun rises and the sun sets; And hastening to its place it rises there again. Blowing toward the south, then turning toward the north, the wind continues swirling along; And on its circular courses the wind returns.  All the rivers flow into the sea, yet the sea is not full. To the place where the rivers flow, there they flow again.  All things are wearisome; Man is not able to tell it. The eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor is the ear filled with hearing. That which has been is that which will be, and that which has been done is that which will be done. So there is nothing new under the sun.  Is there anything of which one might say, “See this, it is new”? Already it has existed for ages which were before us.  There is no remembrance of earlier things; And also of the later things which will occur, there will be for them no remembrance among those who will come later still.

As I read this, I didn’t know whether to feel discouraged or to feel like my life is normal. I always find that January is the toughest month for our homeschool.  I feel like everything is futile! Yes, the “sun rises and the sun sets” and I’m still behind!  “All rivers flow into the sea, yet the sea is not full.” Isn’t that a picture of not making progress in our curriculum? “All things are wearisome” is exactly how I’m feeling about now!

We've just finished the holidays.  The adrenaline rush is over.  Maybe the decorations are put away.  Or maybe not.  But January 4th is coming and I need to get back to schooling and my home is still looking like "old" festive. Some days, when it isn’t all put away, and I can see the cob webs creeping into the corners of the garland and my home reminds me of The Haunted Mansion decorated for Christmas. 

Another reason for feeling discouraged is that my student isn’t as far along in his curriculum as I had planned out last August, and semester reports are coming up.  And we definitely develop bad habits over Christmas break!  There is just something about having siblings home and having them START a movie at 10:30 PM! 

I turn further in Ecclesiastes, for my encouragement: 

Ecclesiastes 3: 1 - 8 There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—  A time to give birth and a time to die; A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.  A time to kill and a time to heal; A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance. A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones; A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing. A time to search and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear apart and a time to sew together; A time to be silent and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate; A time for war and a time for peace.

Ah, there is a time for everything! A time to bond with family. A time to get extra PE credits playing golf with the brothers. A time to do Bible study in front of the fireplace, in our pajamas, with hot chocolate and left over whipped cream and sprinkles. A time to see the latest Hobbit movie.

In 30 years, I’d rather have my son remember the time he spent making memories with his brothers, rather than me being uptight about the school schedule! The month of January is just kind of that way. And sometimes, January is the time to teach our children to be grateful that there is a time for everything.  And we can be grateful God gave us seasons to celebrate what we can do differently to bring peace to our home.

Start teaching them a Foreign Language by teaching them SONGS!

Start with songs!  Not only does this help you with vocabulary, it also helps you with pronunciation!  I always wondered how those foreign singers could sing English songs even though they couldn’t speak English!  Now I know!  Just pick up a CD with Christian children’s songs, and start playing it!  I put the emphasis on “children’s” songs, because there are adult worship songs, too!

While we were in Mexico, during those formative high school years, I learned a lot of little kid songs in Spanish.  Most of you learned, “I’m in the Lord’s Army” in English. But because I didn’t go to Sunday School as a little girl, I learned those songs in Mexicali in Spanish first. 

I started when my babies were babies.  Since I didn’t know all of those Christian children’s songs in English, I sang them in Spanish.  As my children grew to be toddlers and I got a cassette tape of children’s worship songs, I finally learned the words in English.  And boy, was I surprised at what they did to the songs to make them rhyme!

When my children were in elementary school, because elementary school went so much faster than I had ever anticipated, I did one lesson of Spanish every other day.  It took maybe about 20 minutes.  But I made sure it was fun and I didn’t pour too much into them at one time.

This is how I kind of structured that time:

Songs

Phrases:  (Hello, goodbye, my name is, and if you’re ever in a church while on a service project in Mexico, you will hear “Dios le bendiga” - God bless you.)

Vocabulary

Bible Verses

But this post will be about songs.  I'll explain the other ideas in later posts.

Purchase CDS with children's songs in the language you want to teach. I purchased Bible songs and other popular children's songs.  If you have the same songs in English, they can definitely hear the correlation in the tune, and it will help them learn the vocabulary even more quickly!

Along with the Bible songs and the nursery rhyme songs, I actually received the WOW top 40 in Spanish.  My high schooler can currently sing many of those songs word for word in Spanish.  

In the "if I had to do it again" category, I would have purchased a CD with Mexican Folk Songs. This is like teaching them"Old MacDonald", but the songs that they sing in Mexico.

Some songs I just translated.  For instance, when I was teaching body parts in Spanish, I sang "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes", but I easily translated it into Spanish because there are no other words, just body parts - Cabeza, Hombros, Rodillas, Dedos. And the better they got at it, the faster they would sing it!  

And did I mention that when they get older they can help lead worship time in an elderly home, in a children's VBS time, and in a church worship service?

Outreach by Teaching a Foreign Language

Why take a foreign language? Can't we survive in the modern world by only knowing English?  The older I've become, the clearer it is to me WHY a foreign language is so useful and why it is important to teach whatever you know to your student.  Let's start with  fulfilling the great commission as demonstrated in Matthew 28:19-20  “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always even to the end of the age.”

Start them young and hopefully I can record some of the practical ideas I have used as they have grown older. Or things you can use to help foreign language tutors that might be willing to help teach your students.  The suggestions I make, can be done in ANY language.  I’m just going to bring up Spanish, because that is the language I chose to teach my children, living in Southern California and 2 hours from the Mexican border and meaningful mission trips.

I have not only wanted to give my kids a heart for their neighbors, but to give them a heart for other people groups.  If that was the goal, then I needed to equip them to reach other people groups.

I actually became a Christian one October when I was 15 years old.  That Christmas, my church announced that they were going down to Mexicali during Spring break with Azusa Pacific University high school program and I decided to go.  Little did I know that that ONE week would change my life forever.  Not only for reaching people for Christ, but in how I dedicated myself to studying Spanish with a purpose in high school.  The frustrating part was that in high school they were teaching me vocabulary to go to Mexico on vacation, including concerts, where I needed to memorize a list of instruments.  Hello?  This wasn’t the Mexico I went to!  I needed to learn the vocabulary for “sin” and “pastor”, “king”, and “giant”.  

Yes, that is me in the middle of the group!  And yes, our sign says “El Bano or Burst”!  Here is a picture of our youth group in Mexico in 1978.  And another one my senior year in high school.

The hardest part about learning a foreign language isn’t the grammar or vocabulary.  The hardest part is getting over your own self-consciousness and being able to speak it!  After I had children, my goal became getting my children to speak and jump that hurdle of self-consciousness.

Let me emphasize a little bit more about how important that hurdle of self-consciousness is.  I received an email from one of my Spanish students, who went down to Mexico with her youth group over Easter break last Spring.  Emily, a sweet, redheaded 3rd year Spanish student went down on a build project. 

They built quite the house.  Her first couple of years in Spanish class she was a timid student, and then all of a sudden something clicked.  I think it was the fact that she knew she might be that much more useful if she was going down to Mexico!  This was in the email I received, “I really saw what a tool learning Spanish (and practicing!) was! And I'm not "just saying" that because you are my Spanish teacher ;-) I really saw how useful learning the language was, and how fun it was to reach out to people with it.  I don't think I told you this, but I was able to speak to a young man from the church there. Even though it was difficult trying to get Spanish to come out of my mouth, it was great to hear him speak about his family and what his life was like, and in turn tell him (in very broken Spanish haha) about my family and a bit of my testimony. What a blessing!

 To be honest, this past trip was wonderful academically because I saw my strengths and weaknesses in my Spanish. I could understand nearly everything that was said in Spanish, whether it was a local talking or one of my friends translating, but I had trouble getting it out. Plus, my vocab is super strong, I knew the word for "Shepherd" when no one else did (yay for being taught from a Christian curriculum!). I felt pretty smart lol. On the flipside, I really need to practice my verb conjugation!”

Over my next few blog posts, I'll talk about different things that we have done to get them over the hump of self-consciousness.  But not today. I've got to prepare for Spanish class tomorrow!